Insider's Guide to Mum's formal wear

I was shocked to hear that at some weddings, the bride’s mum’s outfit was not her own choice. In this day and age, is it still possible that women describe to their mothers what to wear? Apparently so, so let's look at a way to breach the subject of the mother of the brides' dress.

Your best policy is to have an open talk with your mother on what you want her to wear and more importantly what she will look fantastic in. At no stage should you force your mum to wear anything she will feel uncomfortable in. Weddings are emotional times for parents and they feel vulnerable. The wrong outfit will simply have her feeling down in the dumps the whole day.

Invite mum for a tea and fit session at a shop where you saw outfits that you want your mum to try on. This obviously means that you did your home work and found two or more stores that not only stock your mother's size, but can come in on the deal to make your mum find the best outfit for herself.

Note: Your groom will score a lifetime of her 'welcome homes' if he offers to pay for this outfit. Whisper this in his ear if his relationship with your mum is not as good as it could be.

Back to your morning with mum; avoid any confrontation before you hit the shops. Some mothers sit and wait for you with a handbag full of well-meant but quite valid objections. Side step all of these by arriving with a massive bunch of flowers when you pick her up. Say thank you for bringing you up to this point and hug her for a little while longer than usual.

Like putty in your hands.

At the shop it is vital to be critical of the outfit and not how mum looks in it. Rather than telling her that she looks old or washed in the colour, blame the designer for not understanding what proud mums want for their daughter’s weddings. When the perfect outfit comes from the dressing room, praise her and make her feel gorgeous in that. Her smiling face will be in your heart forever.

By the end of your day the perfect outfit will be in your shopping bag and both of you will be happy and looking forward to the day. The success of this whole exercise rests firmly on your shoulders, so do your best.

Now to get your mother in law into that pink chiffon number!

Caring For Your Ring

Your wedding ring and engagement rings are two of the most important and significant pieces of jewellery you will ever own. Not only are they a symbol of your love for each other, there's also that gorgeous diamond! So, of course, you'll want to know how to take special care of your rings.
Tips to keep your ring looking fantastic!

    Try not to wear your ring during certain activities that could damage your stone. For example, during sport and exercise - you don't want to have a piece of gym or sports equipment making contact with your ring!
    If you are gardening, take off your wedding ring and put it somewhere safe. It's very likely you could chip your diamond or even knock the setting loose if you're doing heavy yard work.
    When in the kitchen mixing things like pastry or dough with your fingers, take your wedding ring off! These ingredients will leave a layer of film on your ring which will affect the ring's luster.
    During activities such as housework, take your ring off as certain chemicals will spoil it. In particular, chlorine bleach and chlorinated pool water can discolour the mounting on your ring. Gold and silver rings in particular have a high chance of becoming very discoloured over time if continually exposed to the chemicals in swimming pools.
    Remove your ring when applying everyday lotions such as sunscreen and perfume. These can clog up your diamond, and even etch coloured gemstones.
    When you do have your wedding ring off, remember to store it in a safe place. It's the last thing you'll want to misplace. Remember to keep diamonds in a separate place from your other jewellery so as to avoid scratches.
    Most insurance companies will include your ring under your home insurance, but you can always opt to have it insured separately.
    Keep your ring looking good by cleaning it. To do this, simply brush it gently in the front and back of the mounting with a soft brush. Then rinse it a few times in hot water. If you want some extra shine, try soaking your diamond ring in a solution that is 3 parts water and 1 part ammonia. Set the enggagement ring on tissue paper, or gently pat it dry.

Engagement rings: The Trends for 2011

The marriage of William and Kate is going to affect engagement ring trends in much the same way as the wedding of Charles and Diana did in 1981: Wills proposed to Kate using the large solitaire sapphire ring surrounded with diamonds that his mother wore.

Given this influence, as well as a yearning for the values of times gone by, the popularity of vintage rings in 2011 is set to rise. Already the demand for sapphires has increased since the announcement of the royal engagement. These vintage style engagement rings are usually set in gold, although white gold and platinum have gained in popularity. In some cases, in fact, actual vintage rings are being used.
The traditional solitaire will always remain a popular choice, albeit with some variation in cut:  Emerald, Marquise, oval, pear as well as the traditional round cut remains a popular choice.  In addition, these solitaires are also sometimes found surrounded by the added lustre of a surround of small diamonds which can also extend down the band of the ring,
In contrast to the vintage look, a popular modern trend is for that of coloured diamonds, in particular the chocolate and champagne diamonds. An interesting fact about these is that they are mined largely in the Argyle area of Australia. The diamonds, while dark in colour, ranging from bronze to chocolate in shade, are still rated for clarity and colour. (They are not, as is sometimes believed, poor quality white diamonds.) Moving away from diamonds, other popular stones are beryl, ruby and sapphire
Further variations occur in settings comprising a number of stones, which are either set around the central stone, or along the band.  Raised settings showing the central stone to greatest advantage, or twisted bands comprising a single or multiple bands allow the bride to have a ring that is different. A branched band or split shank band encrusted in pave diamonds, leading to the centre stone, can make for a dramatic effect.  Another trend is that of going for geometric and other unusual shapes and angles which are guaranteed to catch the eye.
 In these eco-friendly times brides, who want to avoid the controversy raised by the notion of blood diamonds, can feel free to use conflict-free diamonds in their rings, especially if the gold that is used is recycled.
Ultimately, the choice of engagement rings is as varied as there are brides to wear them. Choice is a personal matter and needs to be determined by the preferences of the bride and groom to be.

Does it have to be a Diamond?

Does it have to be a Diamond?This is a subject which has been the source of much debate and controversy – and there are as many answers as there are men and women planning to get engaged.
Traditional Solitaire Engagement Ring

An important consideration is the symbolism of the engagement ring. It is not merely a gift (albeit a very expensive one) from the man to his bride-to-be; it is a symbol of his love for her and of the lasting nature of their relationship. As such there is great respect for the tradition of the engagement ring which is believed to have had its origin in Roman times, when the left ring finger was believed to be the start of the vena amoris (the vein of love) that led to the heart.

After this time, the history is unclear, but in 1477 Archduke Maximilian of Hamburg may have started the tradition amongst European royalty by giving a diamond betrothal ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.

It is only in the twentieth century and especially after the 1930’s that the diamond engagement ring really took off. This can be attributed to De Beers who gave some enormous stones to some starlet; ensured that they were well-photographed and began to make sure that movie scripts included the big engagement scenes, complete with wide-eyed joy at the size of the rocks. Then it was ‘life imitating art’ and all brides to be felt that the proposal was incomplete without the addition of a pure white 2 carat diamond!

However, if an engagement is about a promise of fidelity, then who says it has to be visible in the form of a ring; or if there is a ting, why does it have to be a diamond?

In recent times there has been so much controversy surrounding ‘blood diamonds’ (as depicted in the movie of that title, starring Lionardo Di Caprio). Brides and grooms who do not want that on their conscience can happily check out www.brilliantearth,com or www.conflictfreediamons.org  for a diamond that is “produced under ethical conditions” and whose profit “is not used to fund war”.

Controversy aside, the diamond or not debate is once again a matter of personal taste. If your bride to be feels strongly about having a diamond, then your best response is that she must have one. If she has objections, or prefers something else, then once again, you must cater for her taste.
Other stones like pearls (in all their many shades, shapes and sizes), sapphires, rubies, emeralds and garnets have traditionally been used and are being used in more modern settings.

Our Honeymoon Adventure

"When we think of honeymoons we tend to imagine warm, tropical islands surrounded by palm trees and afternoon cocktails on the beach. However, these days some couples are tending to be more adventurous- and Susanne and Tim are no exception. Read on to hear about their amazing honeymoon adventure..."
Our Honeymoon adventures

Since I can remember I've always loved travelling. Growing up I was fascinated by all the countries in the world and as soon as I was old enough, I set out to explore them.

Aged 18 I booked my first trip to Europe and over the following 13 years I jet-setted all over the world, seeing amazing places and meeting wonderful people. I made a bet with one person I met that I would beat them in travelling to 40 different countries first, which stayed in my mind and was one of the first things I blurted out to Tim when we met.

Having moved to London on a work stint aged 31, I met Tim- also a Melburnian living in London- at a bar one night out and he too had travelled all over the world. As he started listing all the places he'd visited we lost count and got to talking about our lives instead.

Although I wasn't looking for a relationship I was immediately attracted to Tim and within days we went on our first date- to Florence! Our feelings were too strong to deny and as we travelled to many more wonderful places- such as Marrakech, Turkey and Malta- after a few months together we decided to move back to Australia at the end of the year to buy a house together.

But first we took advantage of our time left abroad- travelling to many more beautiful places such as Norway, Amsterdam, Scotland and Poland, then decided to travel to Russia on our way home.

On our flight to Russia after hearing an announcement by the air hostess that diamonds must be declared upon arrival, Tim shook me awake and proposed with a beautiful, sparkling diamond ring! We celebrated in Russia, then London, then soon after with our family and friends in Melbourne.

We married on Elwood Beach on January 14, 2007, and when deciding on our honeymoon we both knew we wanted something a little different to what the "traditional" relaxing honeymoon usually entailed. As my life ambition had become to see every one of the world's 195 countries, and Tim's ambition was to see each of the listed ancient and natural wonders of the world, we wanted to work towards our life goals.

So for our honeymoon we decided to book a 10-day trip to backpack through Vietnam and Cambodia, to add to my list of countries, and also decided to visit Ankor Wat- a temple complex in Cambodia- to add to Tim's ancient and natural wonders. Starting in Ho Chi Minh City, we headed to the backpacker strip and booked our overnight boat trip up the Mekong to Cambodia.

Costing only USD$22, it included bus transfers, boat, visas at the Cambodian border, one night's accommodation and two local village tours on the way. Although our accommodation was only 2 stars it was a massive bargain! And not wanting to have a honeymoon that was all about flash hotels it was just what we wanted, a chance to really get to see the cities for what they are.

Then in Phenom Penh, Cambodia, we found a local motel and spent most of the night time in the famous Foreign Correspondence Club (FCC). During the days we toured the killing fields and met the old Cambodian army teams who now make their living allowing travelers to shoot AK47s!

From the capital, we decided to speed things along and fly to Siam Reap- again booking on the backpacker strip- to see Ankor Wat.

Soon back in Vietnam, we really wanted some "beach time" so we did so in fantastic Mui Ne, the Kite-boarding Mecca of Vietnam! There is a fantastic small boutique hotel there with 4-star beachfront cabins for only usd$40 p/n. Great place to unwind and enjoy the beach, relax by the pool and watch the kites and their riders to their thing.

We loved lugging our full backpacks onto a river barge at 4am on our honeymoon - we wouldn't have had it any other way! Recently we took our 10-month-old son, Lucas, on his first trip and visited The UAE, Jordan and Petra. Both our traveling lists continue to grow and we love that we did something meaningful for our honeymoon, something that reflects as both as individuals, and as a couple.

Susanne MacDonald.

"So although backpacking might not be everybody's ideal honeymoon for Susanne and Tim it was the perfect way to celebrate their new lives together. When it comes to choosing your honeymoon destination think about what represents you- the newlyweds!"

Dealing with family stress

Stress is a part of everyone's lives. Stress can be positive or it can be negative. Negative stress causes a lot of problems like anxiety, confusion, and miscommunication. When there is a lot of stress in a family dynamic, it can be particularly difficult for family members to get along in harmony and it can lead to depression among many people. Being in a constant state of stress will start to take its toll on you physically and mentally. Positive stress can make you stronger as it teaches you how to overcome problems and tackle your fears. However, most people experience more negative stress than positive stress. To reduce the family stress in your home, here are some tips that can help:

Tip # 1 - Spend time together
One of the best ways to reduce stress in the home is to get out of the home and spend some quality time together. Make time to get away for a couple hours and participate in fun activities like indoor sky diving, swimming, and miniature golf. If possible, try to take at least one big family vacation per year. This gives you the opportunity to re-connect as a family unit and to get away from the daily stresses you all encounter.
Tip # 2 - Laugh
Turn off the cell phones, i Pods, televisions, and other things that distract you from having a conversation with your family. Sit around the table and eat dinner together and laugh together. Play board games like Twister and reminisce over past experiences you have shared together. Laughter is one of the best ways to reduce stress and to bring a family closer together.
Tip # 3 - Go outside
Far too often we become slaves to television shows, computers, and other things. Instead of spending all your time inside, get outside and experience the world. Take your family hiking and spend time in nature. Try to get everyone in your family to exercise on a daily basis for at least 30 minutes. Exercise also helps to reduce stress and tension and it uplifts everyone's mood. Regular exercise can help you prepare your body to effectively handle stress. Exercise helps you sleep better and it relaxes the muscles, all which help to reduce stress.

Tip # 4 - Meditation and Quiet Time
Stress can come from a variety of different things; one way to reduce it in the home is to have regular quiet time. Set aside 15-30 minutes where everyone will read a book or close their eyes and relax. Meditation can help to improve your life and it can help you handle stress more effectively. Mediation can bring you inner piece and it can draw you closer together as a family unit so you will be able to handle the different situations easier. Mediation also allows you to focus on specific things, which helps you to concentrate on the needs of your family. Pick a book for the entire family to read together. This is a wonderful way to teach your younger children how to read and it allows everyone to get their mind off the stressful activities of the day and focus on a different world. Reading motivational books can also help you handle problems, especially when it comes to making big decisions like a new job or moving.

Tip # 5 - Rest
Make sure everyone in your home is able to get a proper night's rest. Children need 10 hours of sleep or more, adults need about 8-10. Having a proper nights rest will rejuvenate the body and it helps to decrease stress. Getting a good night's rest also enhances your immune system and it helps to reduce the stress hormone in the muscles.

Insider's honeymoon checklist

Before you go on your honeymoon to that tropical island getaway, pay a quick visit to your pharmacy. You will need to shop very carefully to get all the things you will need. Brides that will fly to their honeymoon destination have quite a struggle with airline limitations, so let’s have a look at your shopping list.
A few pointers and ideas:

    You will be restricted when flying to 100ml of any product and in total to one litre of product. This sounds like a lot, but when you combine all that you need to take with you, you will quickly see that you need to leave essentials at home.
    Buy combination products to take with you like shampoo and conditioner in one and body cream with 30+ sun screen already mixed in. This way you save two bottles.
    Most shops have 'ready to fly' product lines especially packed to pass inspection. You can buy these with confidence or simply decant some of your normal product into 100ml clear plastic bottles. That way you know and trust what you have with you.
    Liquid soap and hand cleaners are essential when travelling so find a product that you simply rub on your hands. You will find that you need a few drops, so a 100ml will get you far.
    Make up combination packs are fantastic and if you can do your base, lips and eyes from one compact you are styling. Take with it your best brush and you are set.
    Any chronic medication you may be on must be accompanied by a prescription from your doctor. This include birth control pills. Some countries will not allow certain medicines in and you may be left without it. Also make sure you have at least a thirty day supply with you.
    Pain tablets should be left in their original package. Always bring something for headaches that you know works well as in foreign countries you may end up struggling to find medication.
    Intimate products are essential as well. You may end up with a rash or irritation from a lot of sex and left untreated you will suffer pain and distress. Talk to your pharmacist – they know from experience what you need and will send you off with the best prevention and cure for that nasty honeymoon rash.
    Lubrication is your responsibility as well. To save yourself some space, this is one of those items your groom gets to carry in his bathroom bag. You choose it though before he arrives with some exotic product loaded with perfume.
    Talking about that bathroom bag – for quick inspection at airports, these must be resealable and clear.

Have fun on your honeymoon and relax, you packed everything you know you may need.

Hens Party Ideas

One of the first decisions a Maid or Matron of Honour must make about the Hen's party is the location. Discuss this with the bride. Do you want it local or are you planning a weekend trip with the girls? Regardless of what you choose, the most important thing is to have fun with the bride.

It is a good idea to hold your hens night at least one or two weeks before the wedding. If you live near wine country, why not try a day of wine tasting with your bridesmaids instead of the usual pub crawl. Local wineries are happy to suggest itineraries. Choose a designated driver or arrange for a car service. Depending on the number of wines sampled and the generosity of the pour, each tasting can easily add up to one or more full glasses of wine.

For the more adventurous at heart, you might want to plan an afternoon of parasailing or learning to rock climb. Perhaps try your hand at scuba diving.

Why not take an entire weekend for a spa getaway rather than a one-night event. In that case you have plenty of options. Consider whether you want a weekend filled with pampering beauty treatments or perhaps one that caters to the soul with refreshing hikes, meditation, and exercise. Sites such as Red Balloons have some ideas available.
LOCATION IDEAS

For a list of great location ideas, access our Bride Online directory and click onto your relevant state.

If you already have plans for a night of bar hopping, spice up the event. Start the evening at your favorite restaurant, and move from club to club, choosing a different atmosphere for each stop. Perhaps after that, a mellow jazz venue. Finish the night at a quiet neighborhood watering hole where you and your bridesmaids can squeeze into a cozy booth and share memories over a bottle of chardonnay.
Some other suggestions:

    Nature Lover - Rough it in tents or enjoy cozy cabins, go hiking in or take in a scenic route.
    Slumber Party - Why not stay in and have the girls/guys over for a slumber party? Mix your own drinks with DigitalBartender.com.

ENTERTAINMENT IDEAS

    Restaurants - Have a lovely meal with the girls and enjoy a fun night telling stories and jokes.
    Clubs - Enjoy yourselves at various venues around town including bowling clubs or night clubs
    Male Reviews - Take the girls on a fun night out at a male review club for exciting entertainment

Need more idea's ?

    Restaurants
    Night Clubs
    Tin Pin Bowling
    Slumber Parties
    Male Revues
    Amusement Parks
    Girls Night In Parties
    Fortune-tellers
    Theatre/Concert

    Weekends away
    Hot Air Ballooning
    Horse Riding
    Hiking
    Camping
    Winery tours
    Parasailing
    Rock climbing
    Scenic walks

Staying close with family when you're far apart

Whether you get married, relocate for a job, or are going to school, most people have family members who live far away. But even though you're apart, you can stay close to your immediate and extended family by simply putting a little more effort in staying in touch.
The following are a few things you can do to stay close with family when you're far apart.

Make family a priority.
You can still make keeping in touch with family a priority when you're far away. Schedule times to call family members on the phone to chat; for example, maybe you want to call your brother every Sunday, or your grandmother every other Tuesday. If you have a hectic schedule, making time for phone calls is important in ensuring that you stay in touch with family. This will help you to stay close to each other even when you're far apart.

Remember important events.
Get a calendar and write down important events in your family and extended family, such as birthdays, weddings or graduation dates. Then, when that date rolls around, be sure to make a phone call to let them know you are thinking of them on their special day. It's also a good idea to send a card a few days before. This is a great way to show them that you care about them and are mindful of them even when they are far apart.
Start a blog.
Many people have jumped on the blogging bandwagon, and blogs are a great way to keep family members updated on what's going on in your life and your family's lives for free. Sites like www.blogger.com are free to start up. Make it a point to blog once a week about you-what's going on with your kids, trips you've taken, and other things family will want to hear about. It's also a great way to post pictures. Send your family members links to your blog and encourage them to start their own.
Plan visits.
Traveling is expensive, but if you're planning family vacations, make it a point to try and do things in areas where you can see family. This is a great way to catch up face to face when you are living far apart.

Take advantage of phone plans.
Many cell phone carriers allow you to make unlimited calls to a certain number of people, even if they do not have the same provider as you. This is a great way to be able to keep in touch with family without having to worry about keeping track of your cell phone minutes.

Get kids involved.
Even if they don't see them very often, make sure your kids stay in touch with family as well. This could be coloring a picture for an aunt for her birthday, or sending thank you notes to family members who have given them gifts.

Send packages.
If you have a family member serving in the military or living overseas, sending care packages now and again is a great way to keep them up to date on what is going on at home, as well as show them that you love and care about them.
Moving away doesn't mean you can't stay close to your family. These are a few things you can do to stay close to your family even when you're far apart.

Strengthening family relationships when you have a hectic schedule

Families now are busier than ever. With hectic work schedules and other extracurricular activities, sometimes it can be difficult to keep your family a priority and strengthen your family relationships.
But neglecting your family for work can result in marital problems and compromised relationships with your children. But there are still plenty of ways to strengthen your family's relationships even if you have a hectic schedule.
The following are a few tips to help you make sure you are balancing your home business and family:

• Identify your priorities. The first step to making sure your family stays a priority even though your schedule is hectic is to actually identify your priorities. Make a list of what you think is important in life, and then work to divide your time accordingly.
• Eat together. Strive to eat as a family together at least one meal a day with no interruptions. This could be at breakfast before school, or in the evening at dinner. During this time, keep the TV, cell phones, and other devices off and focus on the family. This is a good time to catch up on each others days and the activities that are going on in your family's lives.
• Involve your family in daily tasks.Strengthen your family relationships by including them in your hectic schedule! For example, if you have to run errands, bring the kids. Or, spend a Saturday morning doing chores together as a family and then go out for ice cream together. If you work from home, set up a "desk" for your little ones to "work" with you too.
• Make a date night. Stay connected with your spouse even though you have a busy schedule by having a date night every week. Make it a must during the week, and don't answer any work-related phone calls. Focus on things other than work while you are on your date.
• Delegate your work. With some responsibilities, especially if you are in a management position or you have a business and you have a specific idea about how you want things done, it can be easy to take everything on yourself. However, this allows other important things, like your family, to take a back seat. If you have work you can delegate, do so. This will allow you to strengthen your family's relationships.
• Schedule alone time with your children. Another way you can make sure to strengthen your family relationships is to make sure you spend a little time alone with each of your children each day. This could be as simple as letting them help you with chores around the house or driving them to school each morning.
• Take care of yourself. In making sure your family stays a priority, it is also important that you take some time for yourself. A hectic schedule can be very stressful, so make sure you get enough sleep, exercise, and down time for yourself so that your family will actually enjoy your company when you're with them.

These days, most families have hectic schedules that make it easy for more important things, like family relationships, to take a back seat. However, neglecting to strengthen your family relationships will result in more serious problems later on. These are just a few things you can do to ensure you are strengthening your family's relationships.

Minneapolitan Mallwolf

Music: Horror fan, piano man and werewolf Mark Mallman takes back the night.

  You heard it hear first: Mark Mallman is the Mallwolf. He also screens his calls because, apparently, there is a Beckinsale-esque young lady packing a snub-nosed .38 loaded with garlic-tipped silver bullets lurking in the fog. Or just a superfan—but maybe that’s splitting hairs.

“I forgot it was Thursday,” he laughs, explaining sometimes fans get his number, otherwise he’d have answered City Weekly’s call. Just in case there is someone out there looking to rid the world of a shape-shifting, flesh-eating, howling piano man, it warrants mentioning that Mallman is cured. That is to say, he got over the common cold that morphed into lycanthropy.

“That’s something I did for a while,” Mallman confesses of his wolfen ways. “I got really sick one time, and I lost my voice. This was about five years ago. So I went out, and I bought werewolf mask, and I did the show that way ’cause my voice was [mimicking] all scratchy. Then I just kept on doing it, ’cause you know, it keeps it exciting.”

Now the admitted horror fan (“I’m fascinated with that; horror is my real passion”) only whips out the latex, spirit gum and dog hair headwear for special occasions—benefits instead of, say, cyclical lunar occurrences—playing classic-rock covers for a good cause. As for excitement, he’s pretty good at making his own.

Although he’s a piano man, a term that shrieks either milquetoast or Billy Joel (who ceased to be even sorta cool when he started that fuckin’ fire), Mallman is very much a rocker, purveying high-concept ’70s piano-man classic rock with the high-toned hunger of a werewolf, the passion of a vampire and the unrequited—even if he could articulate it—love of Frankenstein’s monster. And the sum total of that Universal Legacy monster orgy is evil genius.

From the first two songs (“Death Wish” and “Tell Me How a Man Gets Close to You”) of his fifth album Between the Devil and Middle C (Badman), the Tin Pan Alley-meets-Madison Square Garden melodies and triumphant arrangements seize your attention like Bela Lugosi’s gaze. Mallman’s prisoners, we’re jacked into his sinister 88-key instrument of death-by-music. He holds us rapt with his unironic, workaday themes, like we’re all Mary Tyler Moores who are gonna make it after all. Indeed, this is the sound of an average Joe’s big dreams—inspiring, exhilarating, crammed with all the false hope and resignation one needs to keep getting up in the morning. Yet, this is eeeeee-ville: it gets better (or worse).

The songs are sheer drama, phantoms of the rock opera, which those averse to showy tunes can read as “death.” But if you’ve ever loved Meat Loaf (or Queen or Billy Joel or David Bowie), you’ll gladly ride a bat straight up the devil’s middle C just to hear Mallman play one more song—because they’re exciting.

Sometimes that’s not enough for Mallman. Although horror is his true love, and music has just been “something I’ve done since … I was 3,” his behavior betrays a porphyrian craving to play. He’s good for an album a year—a once-reliable schedule to which most bands and artists adhere—and he overcame a bouquet of mental illnesses (including dysthymic disorder, a form of depression that inhibits or blocks the ability to feel pleasure) in order to play longer tours—not to mention longer shows. “Regular” ones reportedly stretch two to three hours. His “marathons”—two concerts in his Minneapolis hometown that lasted 26.2 and 52.4 hours, respectively—nearly got him into the Guinness Book of World Records (or would have, if it hadn’t been for semantic quibbling).

“Music is just kind of my being,” he maintains. “It [feels natural] for me to think about monsters because I’ve gone through so much wrestling psychological things. It’s almost like, to not be a monster, to be just happy, would be really cool.”

In that way, Mallman is a classic monster. He didn’t choose to be a creature of the (figurative) night; he just is. He fights it by day and flaunts it after hours, when he’s playing—or riding or standing upon—his electric piano and singing about struggle. Music is one way he keeps the beast within at bay; he self-medicates by tapping into his inner goodness and writing all those good songs.

“Really, for me, it’s just like a vision quest. Like, can I ever write that amazing tune? I’m always trying to do better and better and better.”
The day he gets it right is the day he’s really cured.

“I think once I do write that tune, there’s no real point to continue. I’ll just move on and do something else. This music thing is my life, it’s my reason to live, but at the same time, if I stopped tomorrow I’d find something else to do. If I do write that amazing song, fuck it. Even if nobody ever hears it, I’m done.”

Hen’s Party Dos and Don’ts

Otherwise known as a bachelorette party, the hens party is a celebration held for a young woman who is about to get married ,fashioned in much the same style as the bachelor’s or stag or bucks party. Historically though, the bachelor’s party has been around for much longer, with the hens night evidently stemming from the sexual revolution of the sixties.

Despite its attempts at equality, those trademarks of the bachelor’s party: drunkenness and the antics of a stripper are not necessarily a part of the hens night. In fact, a trend of late has been the notion of female bonding often in the form of a ‘pamper party’ where the bride-to –be is gifted with luxurious pampering items (or, for the more daring, a range of sex toys)

Often all guests are invited to a morning of salon style pampering, which can run the range of massages, manicures, pedicures, facials and aromatherapy. In this way the bride and her entourage can spend quality time together.
A few simple things to remember...

For those who are arranging the hens night, there are some very specific dos and don’ts.

    It is essential that the bride is never exposed to or expected to participate in anything that will make her uncomfortable. This includes those on the list of people being invited (ex-girlfriends of the groom are a no-no)
    Finances should be dealt with discretely. Costs should be covered by all who attend the hens night and the bride should not be expected to contribute.
    On no account should this event be too close to the wedding date. The bride needs to look at her best on her big day
    If there is a range of ages present, make sure that the entertainment is tasteful. Leave anything risqué until after the oldies have left.
    Remember that it is the bride’s day. Any game or prank should not leave her looking bad or feeling embarrassed. She must remember this evening as a highlight in the run-up to her wedding day.
    A token of remembrance for each guest is a great idea. There is such a choice available online, so spend time making a tasteful decision.
    A wonderful opportunity exists if you start a Facebook page for your planning. This allows everyone to be involved and able to give input into all aspects of the party.
    On the hens night, make sure that everyone lets their hair down and has a great time!

Take plenty of pictures and post them onto your Facebook site... well maybe just some of them!

What Every Bride Should Know about the Buck’s Night

Known by a variety of terms, ranging from a stag party to a bull’s party, is the buck’s night or bachelor party, which is a party arranged close to the time when a young man gets married (and can no longer engage in some of the activities his partner disapproves of). Traditionally this party is arranged by the best man, or by a friend who has extensive knowledge of partying.

Activities differ from country to country, but usually involve a night – or in some cases even a whole weekend – spent in the company of his male friends, accompanied by the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol and in many cases, a stripper. There are no hard and fast rules, however, and variation occurs depending on the personality and inclination of the groom. A very popular trend of late has been an entire shift away from the debauchery of past buck’s nights, to an evening or more ( even a weekend) of men enjoying men’s pursuits, like a hunting trip or a fishing expedition or white water rafting together.
So, what does the bride need to know about the buck’s night?

It is going to happen, so your attitude will go a long way towards making it a memorable, but guilt-free event for your groom. Don’t believe everything you hear or have been told. Trust your man and allow him to enjoy the bucks night. It is, after all, a way for him still to show that he is ‘one of the guys’ even though he has committed to a married way of life.

Inevitably, there will be more than the usual amount of drinking and quite possibly a stripper. Your negative attitude to this can ruin the evening for him. He wants to make you happy – he has asked you to marry him! So, imposing unrealistic expectations or limitations, will mar what could just have been an evening of exuberance and letting off the steam of pre-wedding jitters. However, it is a good idea to spell out your limitations in terms of his behaviour (within reason).

The worst thing that you can do on the bucks night is to stay at home and fret. Possibly this would be the best time for your own hen’s night, but at the very least go out with some friends for a meal or a movie. Stewing about what is happening is going to be far worse than anything real.

Ultimately, remember that he has chosen you above all others, so let him have this last evening of not being accountable.

The Right Tuxedo

The most popular choice for modern grooms is the classic tuxedo. There isn't a man alive who doesn't look great in one of these. However, when deciding on attire, keep in mind the formality of the event. Create a look that fits your personality and complements the bride.

Black Tie

Becoming increasingly popular is the black tie wedding. However, this doesn't mean that you have to spend a fortune on a tuxedo. There are plenty of different labels with a wide range of prices. Renting is always an option, but if you plan to wear it more than once, it would be a good investment to purchase your own tuxedo.

Shirts

If you though the range of tuxedos was wide, wait until you see what shirts you have available to you. Shirts will usually come in one of the three types of collars: the wing collar is the most popular and allows you to see the whole bowtie; the laydown collar reveals only the bow and knot; and the band collar, with which no tie is worn -- instead, a cufflink-like fastener closes the shirt at the throat.

Ties

Formal silk or satin bow ties are timeless and will look great 20 years from now. You might choose to wear a gray or black satin classic tie instead.

The Right Tux For You

• If you are tall and slender- you're lucky! Almost any style will suit your body type. Thin men will look best in double-breasted jackets and the shoulders should be padded a bit more than normal. This gives the appearance of a more muscular build.
• The trousers should be full with a higher rise in the waist
• Men with a tall and solid build should opt for a single breasted jacket with only one button. You should also make sure that the jacket you are wearing is long enough for you. A good indication of this is to relax your hands at your sides. If your finger tips reach the bottom of the jacket, this is a good length. Shirt cuffs should sit about 2.5 cm beyond the jacket sleeve. This rule applies to any good suit.
• Collars and ties need to be carefully selected. If you have a wide face or a thick neck, you don’t want to look like you’re being choked!
• The jacket should be a little loose to allow easy movement
• Trouser legs should be slightly wider if you are sporting large or muscular thighs for the sake of comfort and looks.
• Avoid double-breasted jackets as the buttons will focus eyes on your mid- section making it look wider. Short and stocky men should steer towards jacks with plenty of shoulder padding and pleated trousers. Your torso will appear longer and leaner if you choose a single breasted jacket with the button around the belt line. The shawl collar is best for short and stocky men
• Avoid wing-tip collars and very small ties if you have a large face or neck.
• Heavier men might consider a vest over the traditional cummerbund
• If you have a short and slim build, choose a single breasted jacket with a low single button and this will lengthen the lines of your look.
• If you'd like to appear broader, a notched or "peal" lapel is a good choice. Create the same effect with a double-breasted jacket.
• The trousers should be pleated with reverse double pleats, and the trouser legs should break just above the shoes, angling slightly downward in back.
• Smaller bow ties are the best choice for your frame, as are vests with an elegant, understated pattern.

Dealing with embarrassing relatives

Are you one of those people that absolutely dreads family parties because you are worried about your relatives that are embarrassing? Everyone's family has at least one "black sheep". The important thing to remember is that you are related to this person and you need to love them despite their embarrassing behavior. Here are some tips that may help you make it through the next family gathering.
Tip # 1 - Acceptance and Love
When it comes to dealing with embarrassing relatives, you need to remember that everyone is different. Stop looking at their embarrassing qualities and start picking out of their good ones. This may be hard with some people, but everyone has at least one good quality. When it comes to being embarrassed, you have complete control over that. Stop allowing yourself to become embarrassed. So what if your Uncle Tom likes to get drunk and play the piano, that's just who he is! Accepting those relatives that embarrass you is the best way to get over your personal frustrations with family events.

Tip # 2 - Talk to them
If you just can't handle the behavior, try talking to your relative about it. Maybe your little sister thinks it's funny to blurt out a song in the middle of Wal-Mart, if it bothers you, tell her. Be prepared to give up some of your embarrassing behavior if you are asking your relatives to change. Maybe you need to learn how to loosen up a little and just have fun when you are with your relatives instead of thinking about what everyone else around you is thinking.
Dealing with a difficult problem, like Uncle Tom's drunken tirades, can be another challenge. When embarrassing behavior becomes a problem like alcoholism, anorexia, depression, or another serious condition, you need to have a family talk. Part of being in a family is to help one another. Maybe your Uncle doesn't realize he has a drinking problem, but when you point it out, it may help him realize it. Be calm when you are approaching your family member with a serious matter as their first reaction will be to defend themselves against your attack. Calmly state your feelings and your concern for their well-being.
Tip # 3 - Bite your tongue
Everyone has at least one family member that is the "know it all" or the "big mouth". When you are around this person, learn how to bite your tongue. Do your part to keep the family happy and harmonious by avoiding starting unnecessary conversations with this person. If their behavior starts to get out of control, you may need to step in and let them know they are crossing a line, especially if they start belittling others for not knowing as much as they do. Of course, the best method is just to distance yourself from this person. If you know how they are, walk away from them so you don't have to listen to them talk about themselves and all their information. Try playing a game with them, this is a great way to avoid talking to them about too much and it can help you find a different way to connect with them.
No matter what embarrassing quirks your relatives may have, you need to remember that you probably have some as well. Find tactful ways to speak to your relatives about their behavior, but be willing to recognize some of your embarrassing behavior. Determine what is more important; keeping peace in the family by just letting them be themselves or trying to change them into a different person. Having understanding, love, and tolerance for your loved ones will help you get through some of the embarrassing times.

The Insider's Guide to Buck's nights

Traditional Buck's nights seem to be going through a massive change and dare we say, for the better.

Far from the 'get together and drink a lot' parties from the past, men are opting for far more exiting options to farewell their mates.

Adventure sports are currently topping the alternative list of things to do. Buck's now spend the day or even weekend learning new skills and then getting down and dirty perfecting them. Dirt bike riding and off road 4x4 courses are getting booked regularly. This fun adventure will set you a back a few dollars more, but in the end this will be a time you will remember for the rest of your life.

Another adventure orientated buck's event that is coming out tops is scuba diving. The groom and his party spend a morning in a swimming pool feeling awkward and poking fun at each other in wet suits, but they also learn the basic skills of diving. The afternoon is then set aside for the first open water dive. This is truly a time well spent with mates and you gain a valuable certificate from a diving institution. Just imagine the stories at the evening's get together.

The more sporty types arrange for a relay race where the groom is competing against his friends in events that they usually are terrible at and he has the best chance of winning. Cycling, running and swimming are popular choices. The day is then ended with a rewards ceremony where prizes are given for the laziest contestant, least body fat percentage and that sort of funny stuff. This is not a serious affair at all and aimed at being a bit boisterous and having competitive fun like in the old days.

If physical exercise on your buck's night sounds just completely wrong to you, there is always the Wii console that will gladly host any vent you want from the ATP tennis world tour to Olympics. For the best results and guaranteed fun, use the largest screen you can get your hands on or even better – project the images onto a wall and step right into the action gentlemen.

The emphasis change in how bucks celebrate their last few days a single men, seems to bring friends and family together as they have a bit of fun with their male mate before he gets the noose. Quality fun is by far outstripping booze filled parties that last as long as the groom can stay on his feet.

Investigate your options and put together a day or even weekend of fun to remember for a lifetime.

Tips for the Groom

Now that you've gotten the ring and proposal out of the way, here are a few tips to help your trip to the altar run smoothly..

    Just as the bride needs time to organise her wedding gown, you will need to start looking into your options about 4 or 5 months before the big day. Don't wait till the week before your wedding to figure out what you're going to wear because you may not be able to find what you are after on such short notice.
    Make sure you have decided beforehand if you will rent our purchase a wedding suit for the day and also find out which style will suit you best. Your formalwear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding.
    Ask your bride for some details about her gown. This will help you to co-ordinate your outfits so that you'll both look fantastic on the day and your outfits will compliment each other.
    Try not to shave the day before your wedding. Have a shave right before you plan to get dressed for the ceremony. You'll be soft and smooth for your bride. There's nothing worse than prickling her with stubble.
    The last thing you want is a shaving rash. Avoid razor burns by shaving in the direction of hair growth.
    Keep breath mints in your pocket and you'll have a fresh breath all day long.
    On the day of your wedding eat a hearty breakfast and try to relax.
    Don't smoke or drink alcohol before you go pick up your bride. You will want to smell and behave your best when you arrive at her place.
    Perfume and flowers will fill the air so you don't need to wear cologne. The clean smell of soap should be all you need.

Make sure you have these things before the wedding day:

    Polished shoes
    Shirt studs for tuxedo shirt
    Bow tie
    Cufflinks
    Socks usually black
    Tuxedo or suit
    Cumberbund/vest

10 Great ideas for your engagement party

Trends

The traditions of your parent’s era are well and truly over. Engagement parties these days can be anything. From small gatherings of close family and friends to large extravagant parties, to theme evenings or even a game night. With the high costs of a wedding reception, many couples use the engagement party as an opportunity to invite guests that will not be invited to the wedding reception. That means that in some cases, you will need to give consideration as to which guests will be invited to which functions even at the engagement stage.
When to celebrate

Used to be that the engagement party was held on the same day as the official announcement. These days, this is generally limited to the closest friends and family. The real engagement party is then held up to 3 months after the announcement.
The Budget

With the whole wedding usually on a strict budget, the same discipline applies to the engagement party. Don’t get too carried away as the wedding is likely to cost more than you might think. Once you have an understanding of how much the entire wedding will cost, you can easily decide on a realistic budget for your engagement party.
Pick a Theme

Choosing a suitable theme will make planning the party a lot easier. You may want to choose a theme that will set the scene for the wedding itself. For example, if you are planning a beach wedding, then a beach theme for the engagement party would be fun and exciting. Other theme ideas could be the season that the wedding will take place in; or something reminiscent of how you met, or a specific interest that you share as a couple.
Choose a Venue

Budget and size of guest list will determine if you use a wedding venue or a home party. There are pro’s and con’s for both. Consider things like

    the work involved in setting up and cleaning up
    decorations
    neighbours
    time limits
    facilites for food preparation and serving

If you have a member of the family or friend who has a suitable home where the party could be hosted, then this is an ideal option. It will make it more intimate, relaxed and save some money.
Food and Drink

The time of day and the style of the party will determine the amount of food and drink required. Anything around mealtimes will require substantial amounts of food. If you are having the party at a venue check the alcohol prices carefully. Some offer packages on a per head basis, others will charge per drink. It is quite common to set a limit on the bar tab and serve only beer and wine, as spirits are expensive. Don’t forget to cater for those who don’t drink alchohol.
Running Sheet

A great idea is to have a running sheet so that you can time and coordinate things like speeches, the serving of food, entertainment etc. So that you enjoy the party as much as possible, make sure that everyone who needs one, has a running sheet, and understands what needs to be done by whom.
Fun Ideas
Games

Depending on the mix of people invited to the party, you may want to have one or two games planned to make the party fun and memorable. There are many resources on the Internet for suitable games. Bear in mind that there may be preparation and planning required for the games to go off successfully.
Pictures

Your marriage is a memorable event and should be thoroughly recorded. Funds permitting, a wedding photographer is the way to go. That way you can rest assured that you will get a good set of photo’s. Another great idea is to get as many of your friends to bring their digital cameras and take pictures. After the event, get them to copy their pictures to a CD or DVD for you to keep or post on your wedding website. or Facebook page Disposable Cameras are still available and are also a fun way to get lots of imprompt shots of your guests having a fun time.

Entertainment at an engagement party is not usually necessary. If you think you need it here are some great ideas:

    Music: Band, quartet, or Singer. A DJ is another alternative.
    Fireworks
    Magician
    Cartoonist
    Comedian

Thank You Notes

Gifts at engagement parties have become more common nowadays. If so Thank You notes are essential. If not, a Thank You note for attending is the correct etiquette. Include these with your invitation package so that you get the best possible deal as well as ensuring that the stationery that you use is consistent.

Pelican Fly!

Music: Instrumental rockers Pelican soar without a singer to weigh them down.

An audience feels comfortable watching a front man. Go to YouTube.com and watch any clip of Queen performing and, more than likely, Freddie Mercury’s stage romping will overshadow any guitar prowess of Brian May. As pop culture dictates, image is everything and every popular band needs a charismatic front man to represent to the masses suffering from iPod-induced musical-ADD. Even as recent as AFI’s spin-kicking singer Davey Havok, people now seem more at ease to place a band’s entire personality in the hands of the lead singer.

But there was a time when bands could get along just fine without singers. Everyone remembers jazz (even though a lot of those acts were orchestrated by a single man: Woody Herman, Lionel Hampton, etc.), right? Moving ahead, surf-rock bands from the ’60s, such as The Surfaris and The Ventures, gave us hits like “Walk Don’t Run” and “Wipeout” without singing one word into the microphone (unless you’re counting that maniacal child-voice that announces, “Hahahaha … wipeout!” before the drum solo starts). Don’t forget the mainstream techno boom of the late ’90s that spawned acts like Underworld and Daft Punk who, despite the occasional sound-bite vocals, focused mainly on the beat (the former went as far as to don robot costumes to disassociate any personal identities with their music).

And this is why bassist Bryan Herweg is so confused when people think his instrumental band Pelican is a new or novel idea.

“People act like instrumental music is a new thing. Jazz, fusion—so many bands have been doing that for a long time,” says Herweg in a phone interview. “No one in the band wants to sing. It wasn’t like this conscious decision to not have a singer; we just never found one, really. We always wanted one. If ever we were impressed by someone, we’d take them, but it never really worked out. We think the music is fine so far without it. We’re instrumental, and that’s how it is.”

Herweg’s simplistic response still may not satisfy critics and fans, mainly because it leaves Pelican’s music unclassifiable—and that makes an audience almost as uncomfortable as not having front man to watch. Rather than the easily discernable jazz, techno or surf categories, Pelican owes their style to equal parts metal, ambient, pop and hardcore. But, without a screamer to signify metal or a whiner to signify pop, Pelican sits comfortably on the fence. One thing that fans can agree on, however, is that Pelican’s music is epic.

The first two albums of the Chicago-based band Australasia and The Fire in Our Throats Will Beckon the Thaw found the band taking full advantage of their instrumentality, building cinemalike tension to an explosive finale and 10-minute songs were the norm, a sound reminiscent of Hydra Head labelmates Cave In. But their latest album City of Echoes replaces some of their sludgier aspects with more pop sensibilities, as well as cutting the track times in half without compromising potency. But, as if to quell claims of the band “selling out,” or making their music more accessible, Herweg insists that their new approach is for more pragmatic reasons … like being able to play more than a couple songs each night.

“Sometimes we’d only be playing one song during a show,” Herweg says. “So we decided to shorten them up, and it’s amazing how energetic that is.”

“We don’t try to make epic songs,” continues Herweg. “But there definitely is a big cinematic element to our music, and it would make sense for us to do movie music. And, being an instrumental band, we try to make moods, and we’re all avid movie watchers. We’ve always been open to doing any movie soundtracks, but we haven’t had any offers. Hopefully in the future we will.”

When questioned if his band had any particular movie scenes in mind when writing some of the more epic … er, cinematic parts of City of Echoes, without hesitation, Herweg happily responds, “First Blood.”

Booking a Photographer

A skillfully photographed wedding album will be one of the most adored and precious items that is kept and loved many years after your wedding day. As well as conveying the emotions, romance and humour of the day, they are a testament to your relationship. Needless to say, such an important part of your lives should be captured by a highly qualified professional wedding photographer.
So, what do we need to know?

Establishing open communication and an honest, helpful relationship with your wedding photographer is important because your photographer is an important part of the day. The better photographers do more for you than simply take photographs. They help with planning, timing and even with the fine details.It is important to have an understanding of the industry and basic business practices before embarking on a search for a professional wedding photographer. The following information provides a behind the scenes understanding and should be used as a guide to help you select your photographer.
How much should we budget?

When starting out, it is hard to know what wedding photography costs, because photographers are not prone to advertising their prices. An important factor to remember is that any price quoted will be a starting coverage or package price only. Every wedding is unique, as is every couple. Generally, the prices between different wedding photographers reflect their qualifications, experience, skill, and creative style. The quality of the overall product and level of service will also vary with price.

Basically, like many services, you generally get what you pay for. Therefore, the more paid, the greater the quality of photography and professionalism. Most wedding photographers will have a starting package or coverage which allows for the time that will be spent together on the day and will either include a basic amount of photographs in a basic album (package) or a credit that will go towards an album afterwards (coverage). Starting amounts are usually around $1500 and generally will provide only about 20 to 30 photographs. Remember these are basic or starting amounts only, and generally do not include all the extras you will want. Also, generally 20 to 30 photographs is not enough photographs to tell a full story of your wedding day, so most couples want more and better than the basic album.

You won’t really know what and how many pictures you will need until you see the images, so you need to budget for the extras of additional photographs and a better album. Prices can range anywhere up to $5000 for a full photography package. Great photographs are hard to resist. A decision to employ a photographer based purely on price however, and not skill, generally ends in heartbreak, so think carefully before choosing a cheaper option. You will invest a lot of money on a wedding and all will be for only that one day, except the photography. This will be the one thing that you will have forever that will bring all the wonderful memories of that one day back. If money is an issue however, organise to get a better wedding photographer, but spend a little less time with them on the day and choose a few less photographs. It will be the quality photography you remember, not the cost.
Why does wedding photography cost this much?

Photography today is expensive today because of labour and material costs. Good professional photographers also use professional equipment, film, labs and albums and unlike amateur products, these are higher in cost. There is the photographers high overheads and their time to consider. Even though you may only see them for about 15 hours before, during and after the day, they will also spend at least 30 to 40 hours producing your album. You really though, are paying for the value of a photographers style, experience, qualifications and expertise and not just for time, materials and overheads.
How should we choose a photographer?

A referral from family or friends is a good starting point. Also browse through Bride Online's Gallery or through our huge list of Photographers in our wedding directory.These can be sorted according to your location. From these sources it is best to only choose two or three photographers to start with. Picking more at the beginning will only be confusing. A lot of studios are now single operations, meaning there is only one photographer and they are usually the owner. Some have more than one photographer, and some are fairly high volume studios that call in part-time photographers to shoot for them. When choosing a studio like this it is important to meet the person that will be photographing your wedding so you can establish a trust based relationship before you even book with the studio.

Make sure the work you are viewing is that wedding photographers work and look at complete weddings and a full set of the original images and not just the best shots from various weddings.You cannot pick a photographer based on a brochure or a phone call price enquiry. The only way to establish the value is to meet with them, so make an appointment with the studio. In the initial enquiry allow about an hour so you can base a decision on the style, creativity and quality of the photos and albums as well as the compatibility and qualifications of the photographer. As photographers work weekends and some have days as a break through the week, evening appointments can often be arranged. Try to select one near to your place so that arrangements can be made easily and will be much flexible. Search for Wedding photographer Melbourne, Wedding photography Sydney or Brisbane or enter your locality along with the search term and you would find one definetly nearby your area.
All photographers are qualified aren’t they?

One such qualification is the Australian Institute of Professional Photography’s (AIPP) Accreditation process. AIPP Full Members must go through an accreditation process where their portfolio is assessed to make sure their work is up to a certain standard. To find an Accredited AIPP photographer in your area log on to www.aipp.com.au and go to their Find a Photographer section.
Why should I even bother booking a photographer when my Uncle Harry has a great camera?

Remember, it’s not the great camera that takes the photo, it’s the photographer. Although a friend or family member may be a great amateur photographer, they will not have the experience, equipment or knowledge of a professional photographer. Quality wedding photography does not happen by chance. It is created by a specialised professional who has a creative eye and a genuine love of people and wedding photography. Your photographer will also need to co-ordinate the flow of the day, know all the types of shots that need taking and must be able to do all of this in variable weather and sometimes difficult time constraints.

A specialist wedding photographer can provide a fantastic story telling role and will be able to help you before during and after the day. Before you dismiss the thought of using a professional photographer for financial reasons, perhaps look at ways you may be able to afford one. You may be able to re-prioritise the wedding budget, or you could ask guests to provide money towards the photography as a gift. Some photographers have credit vouchers and you can include them on the bridal gift ideas register. Most wedding photographers also offer layby to spread the payments for you.
When should I book my wedding photographer?

It is a good idea to start looking and booking your wedding photographer as soon as you have decided on a wedding date. It is common to book a photographer 12 to 18 months (or longer) in advance.The busy wedding times are from September to May and Saturdays are highly sought after. Remember, it is worth booking this far in advance to get the photographer you want. When you have found the photographer that you are comfortable with, pay the deposit to ensure you have the photographer that you want, on the day that you want.
Should we sign a contract with our wedding photographer?

Most definitely. This is your assurance that the studio will honour its commitment to you. A contract is nothing more than an agreement confirming all the things the photographer has explained to you. There should be no surprises and therefore no reason not to sign. Before you do sign, make sure you have all the relevant information as to individual print, album and page pricing, cancellations, payments etc. Make sure you understand everything that you are signing.The wedding photographer should have all the information in writing for you (called full disclosure). If there is anything that you are unsure about, and that hasn’t been explained, don’t book. Wedding photography is very unique and there is a lot of trust you place in your photographer for their future performance. There is also the trust the photographer places in you. The contract covers both yourself and the photographer for your upcoming wedding.
Why do we have to pay up front?

It is normal practice for your photographer to ask for a deposit, and the rest of the money before your actual wedding. The booking deposit is usually 50% of the package or coverage, and sometimes more. The reason for this up front payment, is that you are ensuring that the photographer you have chosen will be exclusively available to you for your chosen day. Also the photographer starts working for you from the day you pay the deposit. The remaining amount is due before the wedding, so that you will be able to view your photographs when you return from your honeymoon.Remember your package is not all you will spend on photography, as you will be investing more on your album afterwards.

So paying the package up front, isn’t really paying for everything, Wedding photography is very unique and paying beforehand is also the photographers insurance. The photographer is turning away other weddings on your day because they are only available to you. For instance, if a couple separated before or shortly after the wedding (which is not unheard of) the photographer is left with a day not booked, or worse, has a set of unwanted photographs.
What happens after I book?

You should receive written and/or verbal communication regarding the procedures the studio will take to ensure that you get what you paid for. If there are any aspects of the wedding that you think would effect the photography, ensure that you tell the studio prior to arranging details. If you wish to have pre-wedding photographs taken, you will need to advise your photographer at least three months prior. The pre-wedding photographs are a fantastic idea, especially if you haven’t any photographs of yourselves and are a great way to start your album and have some lovely wall portraits.

The studio should contact you prior to your wedding day to make a pre wedding appointment to discuss the fine details with you such as timing, locations and any special photographic styles or techniques you would like. When deciding on how long you will require your photographer on the day, remember, the longer the photographer stays, the more photographs are taken. If you want to save, then keeping the photographer up until the start of the reception is ample.
How much time should we set aside for photography?

The amount of time will vary with each wedding, however it is a good idea to discuss with your photographer what would be appropriate prior to booking your church and reception times. Things to keep in mind are the size of your bridal party, family, length of service, travel time and what locations you have in mind to travel to. You will need around one and a half to two hours free photographic time (excluding travel) after the service in order to do family groups, bridal party and your more personal shots at one or two locations.
But we hate posing for photographs!

Many couples prefer to have their wedding captured candidly. That is to say, they don’t want to pose for photographs. However, there is a misconception that a wedding can be successfully photographed totally candidly. Candid photographs can be taken whilst your attention is elsewhere but there are times during the day that you will need to be directed or posed. It actually requires more time and takes a very skilled photographer to both capture and create the atmosphere, mood and feeling that enables a candid feel to arise.A good wedding photographer will make people feel comfortable and will be able to "pose" you so your images will then look candid or unposed.

The directed photographs are important in an album, as they gather and include the family and bridal party. It is rare to have you and all of your family, or friends or bridal party and even the two of you in a candid situation looking good at the one time at a wedding. You will need to cooperate with the wedding photographer and allow yourselves to be comfortably directed by them. That is the skill of the better photographers and this is what you should look for. It is also what you are paying for.
What happens after the wedding?

In most cases the studio will produce a set of viewing prints (either proofs, previews or originals) to assist you in making your purchasing decisions. There have always been many ways that these prints are presented and you should ask to see samples. Remember that there is no such thing as the proverbial free lunch, and if the studio includes the set of prints in the initial package deal, you really have paid for them anyway. These prints are costly for a studio and if you are to keep them then expect to pay for them.Most studios will expect that you purchase an album, although some studios have options where you don’t have to. Studios will be very well set up to help you with the album making process, and most photographers view it as a major part of the creative process. Your album is very personal, and there are many variations to choose from.

The album planning process generally takes four to six hours. This is generally done at the photographers prior to the initial prints leaving the studio. This is because they are usually loose to make it easy to do the plan and the photographer can help you with the creative design of the album. An album is a excellent way to finish the creative process and the final product is immensely rewarding.It keeps your photographs safe and clean and allows you to view your wedding in a logical sequence. The photographer's album is an excellent way to keep your treasured memories together and display them as a coffee table presentation.
So what if I have a problem with my photographer?

If you do encounter a problem, try to discuss this calmly and rationally with the photographer or the studio. If you feel your problem has not been rectified, then put your concerns in writing. If there is still not a solution by this stage, then find out if the photographer is a member of an organisation such as the AIPP. By contacting the organisation and detailing your problem in writing, they will in turn contact the photographer if they are a member.The organisation can also help with advice, and view the work and be a mediator. If you discover that your photographer is not a member, the organisation may not be able to help. It will still be beneficial to record a written complaint as it will tarnish the photographers record if they wish to join in the future. If after this course of complaint, your problem is still unresolved there is the Office of Fair Trading (Consumer Affairs) and after this the small claims tribunal. However, by choosing a qualified specialised wedding photographer, you are very unlikely to encounter problems.
24 tips on how to avoid frustration and achieve great photographs.

1) Book a qualified specialised wedding photographer early (usually 12 to 18 months prior).

2) Establish an open communication and discuss what you want and what can be achieved.

3) Be aware of limitations and have realistic expectations.

4) Be on time, so plan well and allow extra time for unexpected delays.

5) Rehearse the ceremony and work with the priest to obtain professional photographs.

6) Plan positioning and organise a coordinating person for civil ceremonies.

7) Have earlier services in non daylight saving time ie. the end of March to the end of October, to allow for light for the photography (book usually one to two pm services).

8) Have wet weather alternatives for photos and out door ceremonies.

9) Allow enough time to comfortably do the photography (usually one and a half to two hours).

10) Involve the family and bridal party, working together to cooperate with the photographer.

11) Plan the times and meeting spots with family for the photography locations to avoid delays and disappointment with missing people. Supply Melway map numbers prior to the day to help find the locations.

12) Plan transport for family and bridal party to get to these locations quickly.

13) Supply Melway map numbers and photography locations to the car drivers.

14) Designate key people from each side to help coordinate the family involvement for the photography.

15) Don't allow family and friends to shoot in front of the photographer as it spoils your professional photographs.

16) Organise some drinks and snacks for the photography shoot and bring them with you.

17) Plan, obtain permission, book and if required, pay for any special places you wish to go for photography

18) Book a professional makeup artist and go for a trial. Ask to keep the makeup a flat base to avoid shine. Don't do it yourself, be pampered on the day.

19) For the groom and attendants - shave on the morning after a couple of days growth.

20) Provide cover up for the groom and attendants to blend in shaving rash and blemishes.

21) Book a professional hairdresser. Go for a trial. Keep the hair off the face with no loose pieces. Use lots of pins and spray to keep control in the wind. Loose hair blowing across your face spoils your photographs.

22) Use lots of pins and spray for the veil to avoid falling out.

23) Coordinate with the florist to have buttonholes (and a spare) and the brides etc. flowers, delivered to the correct locations before the photographer arrives. Have the florist identify whose flowers are whose.

24) Most importantly, because of the little detail pre-wedding planning, relax, enjoy and have fun with your photographer.

The Emergency Kit

Be prepared and understand that minor emergencies can and do arise. Don't panic however - if you are well prepared these situations won’t amount to more than a slight disturbance.  Prepare yourself a wedding 'emergency kit’ and you will be able to handle any problems with style and grace.

Some things to include

Your emergency kit can include anything you think you might need on the wedding day. Some ideas include:

• In any situation, an extra pair of pantyhose is always a good backup to have. If you do find a snag or run in your stockings, dab some clear nail polish on it. If the damage is beyond repair, simply put on your spare pair.
• Safety pins will come in handy if you get an unexpected tear. They will also come in handy if you want to quickly bustle up a train.
• Pack an emery board. If you break a nail, you can quickly file it down. You might also want to include some nail polish so you can touch up your nail colours if necessary.
• A needle and thread is extra handy in case you need to do some emergency sewing. You'll be glad you have this if some beading or sequins on your gown become undone.
• In case of small cuts, pack a few band-aids that match your skin tone. If the cut doesn't require a band-aid, pack tissues. These will also come in handy when you cry.
• Bad hair days do happen! A small bottle of gel or hairspray will help tame your hair. Bobby pins and clips are also good for a quick fix.
• Keep your smile bright and breath fresh with a travel size toothbrush, toothpaste and some breath mints.
• Pack your purse and make sure you have a little bit of money for emergency phone calls etc.
• Aspirins are a good idea to save you from any headaches you (or your bridesmaids) might have on the day.
• Tuck a few crackers or cookies in a small plastic bag. You might be too busy to eat during the day. If you feel faint or lightheaded, have a bite. A small bottle of water is also a good idea. Do not pack juice, as this could spill and stain your dress.

Insider's Guide to hen's nights

Brides are often a little confused about what is happening on their Hen's Night and end up following a group of women with their own agenda.

Nothing wrong with that, but if you are clever, you can have a perfect evening and do what you actually wanted to do.

The secrecy surrounding the planning of a Hen's night usually means that you have very little input, but here is how to get the night you want: simply ask for it! Your maid of honour and those responsible for planning your night will be more than happy with suggestions coming from you. It is how you introduce your suggestions that will make them feel they are still in control.

The trusted online poll comes to mind where you answer questions. Search round and find some fun polls on the internet. You will find many sites that allow you to create and send your own poll too if you can not find the right one for your plan.

Make a list of questions that will show your preferences and choices for a perfect hen's night. Also include what you really do not want like a stripper as old as your dad. Answer all the questions and then forward this via your friend's address to all your friends as one of those quick answer fun things to do. Your answers will be studied for clues - guaranteed. This way your friends know what you want and can plan ahead with their 'secret' information.
Question suggestions for your poll:



    I prefer a night without alcohol. Yes/ No
    Public bars are out of this world choices. Yes/ No
    Beauty spa for a day? Now you are talking! Yes / No
    Loud music and lots of dancing please. Yes / No
    Fun outfits with a theme are just great. Yes / No
    Public transport means we can have a party without fear. Yes / No
    Gifts should be cash towards my honeymoon. Yes / No
    Invite the boys along? Yes / No
    My co workers are not my friends. Yes / No
    Tea and cake with loads of roses and style. Yes / No

Creating such a fun poll you not only discover yourself what you actually will enjoy most, you also tell others in a nice way what will work for you and what not.
Here are a couple of things not to with this:

    Do not make this a serious list that takes away the spontaneity of those planning your event.
    Do not sound like a dominatrix that is laying down the law – keep it fun and light hearted.
    Do not analyse every answer from your friends to see if they differ from you. They will and that is why we are such an interesting species.
    Most Importantly, Enjoy your evening out!

Chosing Your Wedding Flowers

When choosing your wedding flowers there are a few things you need to consider… Yes, you may LOVE peonies but….

    Do they go with your overall theme?
    Do they go with your dress?
    Are they practical (will they last/ drop goo all over your dress etc etc)
    Are they in season?
    Are they especially bad for those who suffer from allergies?
    Will you have the same for the bridesmaids and if not, what will you have and do those flowers tick all of the above boxes!
    Will you throw your bouquet or have a second one made to give away… decisions, decisions!

Make sure you sit down with your florist and ask them all of the above questions... the last thing you want is to find out the week before the wedding that your dream bouquet isn't available or that your bridesmaids are highly allergic!

To take the hard work out of some of your wedding flower planning we have identified popular choices by season so at least you can make a start.
Wedding Flowers by season
Spring:

tulips - hyacinths – blossom – narcissus – daffodils – broom – anemones – muscari – lilac
Summer:

roses – sweet peas – peonies – sunflowers – hydrangeas – delphiniums – blooms – lily of the valley
Autumn:

amaryllis – snowberry – calla lily – dahlia -celosia – oak leaf – euphorbia – orchids
Flowers for...
Brides and Bridesmaids

Don’t forget the bouquets are wedding accessories; they shouldn’t detract from the bride! Bridesmaid’s bouquets can be a variation or a contrast to the bride’s bouquet; however they are usually slightly smaller. The bridal party bouquet can also be used as a flower arrangement at the reception either on the bridal or cake tables.
Grooms and attendants

Grooms, family members and attendants the grooms and family member’s lapel pins our boutonnières are usually in line with the brides and bridesmaid wedding flowers. To make the family feel special perhaps choose a flower just for them so they stand out and your guests can easily identify (and congratulate them)
Tables

Table arrangements don’t always need to be flowers. If you are on a budget and are trying to save some money, get creative and make use of some cheaper foliage such as ivy to create your centerpieces.

Pop Mart

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