An Engagement Party: Should we or Shouldn’t we?

Not all marriages start with and engagement party and considering the immense cost of the wedding, and the effort of organising a party, many people think this through carefully. So should you have one?

Pros:

• A way of announcing your engagement to your friends and family in a fun way
• If you are budget restricted, the engagement party is an opportunity to invite people who you would not invite to the wedding reception
• If you are planning a destination wedding, the engagement party may be the only opportunity for your friends to celebrate with you.

Cons

• You will have to get organised with your guest lists
• There is a lot of work and expense involved in the organisation of the party
• Depending on the length of the engagement, it may be awkward to have an engagement party close to the wedding

When should you hold your engagement party?

This depends mainly on two things; the date of the wedding and the seasonal opportunity. Some people have their party within one to two months of the announcement of their engagement; others who are having a more formal engagement party may leave it for much later. Usually, there is at least 6 months between the engagement party and the wedding

What sort of event should it be?

There are no rules or norms for engagement parties. It can be as formal or informal as you choose, and at any time of the day.

Who should you invite?

The engagement party is a great opportunity for members of the bride and groom’s respective families to meet and get to know each other. Don’t leave anyone who you intend to invite to the wedding, off the list, but you can invite people to the engagement party that won’t be invited to the wedding. Apart from family, often there are work and sport colleagues that you may want to invite.

Should we send out invitations?

Obviously the guests will need to be invited one way or another. If you are organised enough, you could include engagement party invitations with your stationery order and save a few dollars and be consistent with the other wedding events. Some people use email invitations and rsvp’s and others make telephonic invitations.

What about gifts?

For the guests, this is always an awkward question. Some will feel obligated to bring a gift, others who perhaps expect to be invited to the wedding, may decide to give a gift at the wedding. You have some options. You can specify on the invitation “No gifts please”. If you don’t do this, you can set up your registry early with some moderate gifts so guests thinking of buying a gift won’t feel too much pressure.